No more sex (only friends)

1. Can friends have sex and keep their relationship on a friendly level?

2. This is a possible answer I found on the internet:

3. It will depend on the type of friendship. If it’s a relatively casual friendship and you both don’t see each other that often, I think it can work. If the friendship is a deeper one where you connect mentally and emotionally, and you then decide to add the physical connection as well, I think you’ll inevitably end up dating or the friendship will end. It’s not impossible to stay good friends but I think it’s just easier to find a sex friend from scratch so you’re on the same page from the beginning. [1]

4. The previous answer is mostly based on the frequency of dating. It presupposes that friends see each other less frequently than lovers. However, even so,  friendship is not spoiled by regular meetings, while a sexual relationship loses its strength over time.

5. I believe that although lovers can also talk to each other, fundamentally they can’t be friends- sex has always had an element of submission and conquest, which the one of the pair imposes on the other one- while the other one accepts- so that the sex couple forms a pair of opposites- a ‘negative’ and a ‘positive’ part, where the law of attraction can be established.

6. On the other hand friends seem to operate beyond the physical laws- although usually they are much alike, so that they can share the same opinions, they don’t ‘attract’ or ‘repel’ each other. It seems therefore that friendship is a spiritual phenomenon, which disobeys the physical, material laws of nature.

7. Such an immaterial aspect of sincere communication is what makes friendship so sacred- also so rare. In fact friendship is much more than a simple acquaintance. As soon as you open your heart to somebody else, the other person should not exploit your trust, thus control you for sexual pleasure.

8. Pleasure- because this is the fundamental element of sex- cannot be established in an egalitarian relationship. Those who know how to make sex also know how to ‘humiliate’ themselves or turn themselves into tyrants for the sake of the sexual adventure.

9. It is the same element of adventure which makes the sexual relationship casual, destined to be dissolved when ‘the party is over.’ There can still be respect between the pair after they split, but such respect is based on the common secret (the last night’s love affair), not to mutual admiration.

10. Admiration I believe is the most important aspect of friendship. It is not based on external appearance but on finding out when you discuss a subject of interest with a friend that he can not only follow your argument- thus that he has the same interest- but also that he can expand your argument, so that the discussion can progress and further knowledge can be attained.

11. In fact if you try to talk about the stars or about the possibility of extraterrestrial life with a possible sex partner then he will turn his back on you. But if he is interested on the subject then in all likelihood you will both end up discussing about the subject all night long- instead of having sex.

12. Friendship and sex are two completely different things, which one has to distinguish between, in order not to lose friends or sex partners. A love affair cannot turn into friendship, because the profound elements of friendship are missing in the first place.

13. On the other hand friendship cannot evolve into a love affair- at least without losing the friendly element- because sex presupposes inequality- you will either be at the top or at the bottom. You have to play your double- faced role if you want to enjoy the moment.

14. Of course having a family or finding a job has nothing to do with the subject. We are talking about having sex for pleasure, not for pleasing your husband or your employer. We are not referring to those people who think that making love with your spouse is sex, or that talking about business is friendship.

15. I haven’t still met a real friend whom I could also have sex with. And I probably never will- friends are still hanging around, while love partners have already gone.

16. …No more friends only sex.

[1]: [https://www.quora.com/Can-friends-have-sex-and-keep-the-relationship-on-a-friend-level]

4/8/2019

Image: [http://www.demotivation.us/lets-clap-to-those-1280280.html]